George Orwell Would Have A Field Day With These Buffoons in California! – CalPERS, the State of California Public Pension Manager, Claims They Have Done Something When They HAVE DONE NOTHING! – Hell, CalPERS Can’t Even BEAT THE MONKEY! – Yes, the “Monkey Theory” Is Alive and Well and Still Beating the Idiots at CalPERS and Most Other Money Managers For That Matter! – What Should California Do? Hire the Monkey AND Fire Everyone at CalPERS!
As author of the brilliant novels 1984 and Animal Farm, George Orwell said long ago…
“To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.”
So true Mr. Orwell, so Damn True!
Consider this completely bogus story in Friday’s Sacramento Bee on CalPERS, the state of California’s Public/Government pension manager:
Hurray for CalPERS the morons reading that story say, at least the one’s that don’t know UP from DOWN!
Let’s go to the story before we make these CalPERS Clowns look like the Idiots they truly are!
“The California Public Employees’ Retirement System bounced back from the global economic meltdown this year as the value of its investments grew by about $21 billion.
Preliminary estimates show the portfolio held by the nation’s largest public pension fund grew 11.4 percent to $200 billion during the fiscal year ended June 30, 2010.
That represents a turnaround from the year-earlier period – when Cal-PERS’ holdings tumbled 24 percent to under $180 billion.
“We’re definitely in the recovery mode with the opportunity to capture future returns because of our long-term investment horizon,” said Joseph Dear, CalPERS chief investment officer.”
Oh, that sounds good, Government Workers not losing money hand over fist! Of course, these are the same folks at CalPERS that told anyone that would listen in they year 2000 that they would not need money from the state of California’s general fund…..Uhhhh…..,CalPERS got $3.5 BILLION from the California general fund in 2009-2010 and they just requested an additional $600 MILLION DOLLARS because their investments went south! But we digress.. Back to the Idiocy of this story!
“The giant pension fund said the value of its global fixed-income investment rose 19.5 percent while private equity holdings increased 30.9 percent.
Public stocks gained 14.4 percent while real estate investments were down 37.1 percent.”
OK, so let’s run through the numbers here…
Global Fixed-Income – 19.5 percent UP – Call this the Uncle Ben Bernanke let’s make the Wall Street Bankers very rich and the savers of America very poor trade. Just wait until those bonds start losing value, then CalPERS is going to lose it’s rear-end on fixed-income and you can “Book ‘em Danno” that the value of bonds is going down, that in once Uncle Ben Bernanke realizes his monetary policy is making things worse, not better! Unless you are a Wall Street Banker that is, because Uncle Ben is making Wall Street VERY, VERY RICH!
Private Equity Holdings – 30.9 percent UP – This is the rabbit hole valuation because everyone at CalPERS knows a private equity investment’s value means nothing until the investment is cashed out. Since CalPERS has a strong track record of getting taken to the cleaners by the Wall Street Bastards, this is just paper BS that is just a BIG FAT BOGUS NUMBER!
Public stocks – 14.4 percent UP – Hmmm….. In the same year-over-year time period equities, the S&P 500 Index is up 24 percent, so we have the Buffoons at CalPERS that think they can pick individual stocks and beat the market are actually 10 points below what the market did overall! Yes, the “Monkey Theory” so popularized at Mad As Hell And… has come true again, just like it does for most of these Morons that are running Public Pensions Plans.
The “Monkey Theory” is actually very simple:
If the State of California had hired ONE MONKEY and plopped him down in front of a computer and had him buy the S&P 500 over the last year the CalPERS “Public Stocks” would be UP 24 PERCENT in the last year, not just 14.4 PERCENT!
Yes, the MONKEY STRIKES AGAIN!
Let’s continue with the numbers from the Idiots at CalPERS…
Real Estate Investments – 37.1 percent DOWN! – Oh, these are REAL MEN AND WOMEN OF GENIUS AT CALPERS! As has been documented many times before here at Mad As Hell And…, CalPERS has made some truly stupid real estate investments in recent years, including the Mountain House development near San Francisco…
Mountain House: Investment to nowhere
Yes, these are truly VERY STUPID PEOPLE working at CalPERS and these Idiots are in charge of $200 BILLION DOLLARS!
Back to the lunacy that is California….
In the last year “the CalPERS portfolio rises 11.4%” the Sacramento Bee headline screams out!
Uhhhh….., if anyone at the Sacramento Bee had a clue they would have looked at what the S&P 500 had done over the same period and they would have found that over the last year…
CalPERS Portfolio – 11. 4% UP
S&P 500 – 24% UP
So, lets get to the bottom-line numbers here and this is where the People of California should be paying very close attention.
In the last year…
CalPERS Portfolio – $19.8 Billion Dollars UP
If invested in S&P 500 instead – $43.2 BILLION DOLLARS UP!
That’s right, if instead of several thousand complete and utter BUFFOONS at CalPERS there was just ONE MONKEY buying the S&P 500 the state of California’s Retirement System would have an additional….
$23.4 BILLION DOLLARS IN THE BANK!
Here’s the real scary part for The People of California….
If California had hired a Monkey in 1980 and had him buy the S&P 500 for the past 30 years instead of turning all of this retirement money over to the Buffoons at CalPERS, the State of California Retirement System would not have just…
$200 Billion Dollars…..
But NORTH OF…..
$400 BILLION DOLLARS in the BANK RIGHT NOW!
Yes, the folks at CalPERS are compete and total idiots and the people at the State of California that hired these fools are even worse!
What is the best thing that the State of California could do right now?
Hire the MONKEY, plop him down in front of a computer with one button that will buy the S&P 500 and give him plenty of bananas…and fire everyone at CalPERS!
Don’t count on that happening because the folks running the train in Sacramento are truly some of the worst “public servants” on planet Earth today!
As we have said many times…
THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA IS FINISHED!
